Your Permission Slip: Just Be You

Your Permission Slip: Just Be You

I have to ask you to stop…

Stop fighting who you are!

It’s fine to want to learn, grow, and improve yourself (in fact I encourage it!), but, in today’s society, with social media such a strong influence, too many people are hiding a deep dark secret - they don’t like who they are.

Faced with the ‘perfect’ images of other people’s lives (spoiler alert - they’re not so perfect!), too many people are on a mission to hide who they really are to fit in with the image they think they’re supposed to be.

It’s time for you to give yourself permission to just be you exactly as you are right now.

Think about that for a second...permission to just be you.  Do you feel a little bit of the weight lift off your shoulders?  Are you breathing a little bit more easily?

Stop being so ridiculously hard on yourself!

You deserve just to be you.

Dating in Your 40s: Do a Dating Challenge!

Dating in Your 40s: Do a Dating Challenge!

Dating is fun.

Dating is hard.

Dating is overwhelming and scary, especially when you’re in your 40s, and you’re hitting the dating scene again.

Let’s face it...you’re not a pimply teenager wearing rose colored glasses.

You’re a sometimes pimply, gravity challenged, 40+ woman wearing battle scars from your past forays into love.

But, despite that cold hard reality, you’re optimistic and want to believe love is out there for you (it is!).

The idea of dating to find it, however, sometimes sounds like more trouble than it’s worth.

How Success Changes as You Get Older

How Success Changes as You Get Older

Success…

For fellow high achievers, success is the victory at the end of all the hard work.

It’s when you get to sit back and celebrate the arrival at the end goal.  Perhaps you worked on the goal for a week, or maybe it was years in the making.

It doesn’t matter how long it took when you’ve completed your mission!

Dictionary.com says success is “the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals.” 

In today’s world, success is a driving motivator and for some, the foundation of their sense of self-worth.

Everyone wants a successful life (myself included!), and there’s no shame in that!

But, did you know there are external successes as well as internal successes?

How to Push Yourself without Killing Yourself

How to Push Yourself without Killing Yourself

I get it...I’m a type A goal setting go-getter. I make goals for myself and then I set about making them happen.

When I have a task in front of me, I don’t back down.  If I’m really excited about it, it consumes me.

Add that to the fact that I put too much on my plate in general and I create the perfect recipe for complete burnout.

I’ve been there...on the couch, watching a Harry Potter marathon because my brain just can’t function anymore after weeks of pushing myself so hard.

After going through this cycle one time too many, I learned how to push myself without killing myself.

The secret to pushing myself without killing myself?  Honoring down time and readjusting my overly high expectations.

How & When to Break Up with a Friend

How & When to Break Up with a Friend

Breaking is never an easy thing to do.

The vast majority of people have been there with a significant other - either being dumped or doing the dumping.

But, what about breaking up with a friend?

Most of folks don’t think about that. You’re either friends with someone, or you’re not.

Some friendships, though, aren’t right for you and when you have those in your life, you have to break them off, for your own good.

Why You Need More Adventure in Your Life (and how to get it!)

Why You Need More Adventure in Your Life (and how to get it!)

Most people are on auto-pilot.

Most people do the same things every day, every weekend, every month, and every season. It’s like the movie Groundhog Day.   

As I’ve been talking to women in my 100 Coffee Chats project, I keep hearing how they want more adventure in their life.

They’re bored. They feel life used to be more exciting and now it’s the same thing every day.

They have nothing to look forward to and each day is a repeat of the day before. But, they crave it that extra spice in life (one woman said she needed muy caliente in her life).

Just because you get older and take on more responsibilities does not mean that you have to give up on having adventures in your life.

No, you may not be able to do it quite as spontaneously as you did in the past, and your adventures at 40-something may look entirely different than at 20-something.  In spite of these differences, it’s still within your ability to make more adventure happen.

Breaking out of the norm and inviting a little adventure into your life is what living is all about!

If you’re doing the exact same thing every single day, is that really living?

Stop Chasing the Wrong Things in Life {Chase These Instead!}

Stop Chasing the Wrong Things in Life {Chase These Instead!}

We’re all chasing something.

But, sadly, most people are spending their lives chasing the wrong things.

How do you know if you’re chasing the wrong things?  You’ll likely feel restless, frustrated, unfulfilled, and unhappy, just to name a few.

There’s a sense of wanting something more but not quite being able to put your finger on it.

Today, we’ll take a closer look at why we tend to go for the wrong things, what not to chase, and most importantly, what you should chase in life.

Why You Need to Be Your Own Best Friend

Why You Need to Be Your Own Best Friend

Best friends aren’t perfect, but we love them just as they are.  Sure, they frustrate us and sometimes even hurt us, but we believe in them, and we’re always there for them.

We’re they’re cheerleaders, support system, partner in crime and we want only the best for them.

If they’re going for a new job, we know they’re the best person for it, and if they don’t get it, then we see the company that rejected them as idiots for not picking her.

We do all of this because we love her and it allows us to see beauty in her flaws.

Now, if we think about how we treat ourselves, for most of us, it’s an entirely different picture.

We’re our worst enemy and biggest bully.

We doubt ourselves, only see our flaws (and even make up flaws just to criticize ourselves), say horrible things in our heads about ourselves, get in our own way, and abuse/punish ourselves.

We extend compassion and grace to our best friend, but loathing and disappointment to ourselves.

Imagine how different you would be if you treated yourself the way you treat your best friend.

11 Types of Girlfriends You Need in Your 40's

11 Types of Girlfriends You Need in Your 40's

Connection is a big part of feeling whole.

As I talk to women in my 100 Coffee Chats project and ask them what’s missing in their lives, ‘friends’ come up frequently.

Yes, they have friends, but the friendships aren’t as close as they were when they were younger, or they’re not local.

Women in their 40s are craving connection with other women.

While there are many reasons real friendships are harder to come by in your 40s, that doesn’t mean you can’t make it a priority.

As you assess who is currently in your life, it’s important to also look at what types of friends are missing in your life.

Why You Don't Want to Silence Your Inner Bully

Why You Don't Want to Silence Your Inner Bully

You know the voice...that mean inner critic that is always whispering terrible things to sabotage your best of intentions.

How often has it stopped you in your tracks, made you doubt yourself, then play it much safer than you originally planned?

I call it the Inner Bully because it’s verbally beating you up, taunting you, and controlling your actions.

That super critical voice is a form of self-abuse, but believe it or not, it has a purpose.

Despite the term ‘bully’ or ‘critic,' the voice comes from a loving place within you.  It’s trying to protect you from getting hurt.  

Its intentions are pure, but it’s methods are not.