How to Change your Comparison Strategy to Feel Better About Yourself (and grow!)

Guess what?  It’s human nature to compare yourself to others.

Yep...I said it:  It’s normal to look to other people as a means to evaluate yourself.

I’m not going to tell you to stop doing this, either, because you can’t.  And you shouldn’t.

Looking at others and comparing yourself to them is a necessary component of self-awareness.  Self-awareness plays a significant role in emotional intelligence.

In other words, you have to be aware of others in order to be mindful of yourself.

But, there are two sides to comparison - a shadow side and a light side.

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5 Tips to Escape the Comparison Trap

There was a time I didn’t like all that much about myself.  I hate to admit that, because it feels so ‘icky,’ but it’s the truth!

Everyone else was prettier, smarter, funnier, more talented, thinner, more successful...well, you get my point.

No matter where I looked, I always felt behind, less accomplished, or simply not enough.

As a result, it felt like everything I wanted was out of reach because I didn’t have what it took, or everyone else was better suited.

Let me tell you...living life in that trap became exhausting!  

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7 Common Fears Keeping You Stuck on the Sidelines of Your Life

Fear is incredibly powerful as a motivator, and it’s something that everyone experiences.  But, the degree to which each person feels fear, and more importantly, allows their fears to dictate their actions, varies per individual.

For a large portion of society, fear serves to keep them sidelined, as they stand frozen in the face of their fears.

While other people appear to be fearless, never exhibiting signs of fear and seemingly made of steel.

But, no one is without fear.  Those ‘fearless’ individuals experience fear just like everyone else, but what sets them apart is that they don’t allow those fears to keep them from moving forward.

They feel the fear, and they blaze through them.

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How FEAR Keeps You Stuck in the Midlife Muck

Fear is one of the most powerful motivators that plays a significant factor in how we show up in our lives every single day.

It’s not only powerful within ourselves, but it’s one of the most widely used tactics in our society to manipulate our beliefs and behaviors (think marketers & politicians!).

Our underlying fears have the power to influence our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions.  It impacts what we say (or don’t say), the goals we set for ourselves, our ability to stretch ourselves and our willingness to step beyond the outer edges of our comfort zone.

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Why Your Inner Critics Block Your Adventures

When was the last time you threw caution to the wind, stood up to your fears, and did something a little risky?

If it’s been a while and you’re dying for a little adventure, then it’s time to start examining the reasons why you’ve been staying on the sidelines of your life!

While there could be a number of reasons, I’m betting the primary factor underlying all of those reasons is one you may not have considered:  your Inner Critic.

Your Inner Critic(s) is that little voice inside you that tells you not to take that chance and to play it safe.  It’s the reason you’re a tad averse to taking any risk in your life!

You may not be aware this is even happening within yourself, but everyone walking on this planet has to battle these Inner Critics daily.

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Why Your Inner Critic is DamaginG Your Relationships

As we slide into our 40s, we’ve been around the block a few times with relationships.  We’ve experienced successful relationships and had a few that crashed and burned. 

For the relationships we’ve been tending for years, the newness has long worn off, and it can feel challenging to keep it going.

We feel a little stuck, and sometimes we don’t know if we should try to rekindle the flame, or throw in the towel and start over.

Either option comes with its own set of fears and questions.  We don’t want to make the wrong choice, and either walk away from a good thing or stay in a dead-end relationship.

Whether we’re navigating a relationship that’s become mundane, exploring the idea of ending things, or dipping our toes into the water of dating again (after ending the relationship, of course!), there’s one powerful thing that may be preventing you from taking the steps you need, or want to make:  our Inner Critics.

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How Your Inner Critic Blocks You from Your Purpose

Figuring out our purpose is one of the chief desires of women in their 40s navigating their Midlife Muck.

We’ve either never found our purpose, or what was once our purpose is no longer serving us.  But, as we hit our 40s, we feel a deepening need to discover more meaning in our lives.

It can be challenging to attempt to figure this out at this stage in life.  In many ways, it feels like starting over (which isn’t necessarily the case!).

But, in the quest to answer those deep questions that keep us up at night (“Why am I here?”, “What am I leaving behind?”, “What can I do to feel I’m contributing more to life?”) we typically seek something new.

For many, that quest leads to fear, overwhelm, and confusion.  We feel stuck, and we don’t know how to get past this to find our purpose and start living it.

What we don’t realize is that in many cases, there’s something within us sabotaging our efforts to find the answers to those questions:  our Inner Critic.

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5 Tips to Tame Your Inner Critic and get out of your Midlife Muck!

One of the things I routinely hear from women in either the Midlife Crisis or Midlife Muck phase of their Midlife Transition is that they feel stuck.

Things aren’t working in their life, and they crave something different, but they either don’t know what they want, or they feel they have no way to make those changes happen.

Even if they have the vision to see new options to improve their lives, there’s usually a long list of reasons why they can’t follow those paths, so they stay stuck and frustrated.

There may be many reasons for being in that predicament, but I’ll wager one of the chief reasons is your Inner Critic is ruling the roost and doing whatever it can to ensure you stay comfortably stuck right where you are.

You likely don’t even realize to what extent these little balls of not-so-helpful energy are operating!

Getting unstuck means coming face to face with these voices, and their underlying beliefs, to establish a new relationship with your fears, doubts, and Inner Critics.

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Why You Need Solo Adventures

Adventure...it’s the #1 thing women tell me they are craving more of in their lives. Yet, they’re doing nothing to make it happen.

By the time we hit a certain age, most people start to feel like they’re in a rut and want to feel a bit more excitement.  The daily to-do’s and responsibilities become mundane.  

Life becomes a routine.

The thrill of adventure is something most people desire, but few put into practice.

Fear, time, lack of creativity, and money are just a few of the excuses I hear that get in the way of adding more adventure to life.

But, the thirst for something new and exciting persists.  

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