11 Promises to Make to Love Yourself More

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Here's the thing...you were never taught to love yourself.

Small children naturally love others.  You were likely taught how to treat and not treat others, especially those you love.  You were probably also taught to accept other people’s differences and not bully them or belittle them.

But, I'm betting no one ever took the time to teach you how to use those same principles to love yourself.

So, as an adult, you likely beat yourself up over minor things and magnify your imperfections.  The impact of this type of hypercritical scrutiny is self-sabotage and constant internal friction (i.e. stress).

This is why I created this list of 11 promises to make to yourself to start loving yourself more!  You have to start somewhere, so why not today?

Even if you are rocking the Self-Love train, it never hurts to check in with yourself and make some new affirmations and promises.  Once you feel the love flowing, these will be even easier to do!

To get the most out of this exercise, repeat each one of these to yourself, feel it, and believe it.  

 

11 PROMISES TO MAKE TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE

I won't lie, to turn that around and learn to treat yourself in a loving and compassionate manner takes practice and a conscious effort. But, if you're ready and want to take the positive step of loving and accepting yourself as-is, then set aside a few minutes to make these eleven promises to yourself!

#1 |  I PROMISE TO REPLACE A NEGATIVE THOUGHT ABOUT MYSELF WITH A POSITIVE THOUGHT
From now on, make a promise that every time you catch yourself saying something negative about yourself, stop that thought in its tracks. Then, actively switch your mind and replace it with something positive about yourself.
#2 | I PROMISE TO SAY NO WHEN ASKED TO DO SOMETHING I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO
It's okay to say no sometimes.  In fact, you have to say no in order to prevent people from taking advantage of you!

People won't think less of you or not like you if you say no!  Saying ‘no’ means you're setting boundaries for yourself.  If you are stretched to the limit, or just plain don't feel like doing it - say no!  And you don't have to explain why - just say "I wish that I could do XYZ, but unfortunately, I won't be able to commit to that.  Good luck with XYZ!".
#3 | I PROMISE TO SCHEDULE TIME INTO EVERY WEEK TO DO SOMETHING THAT I LOVE THAT BRINGS ME JOY
It's so important to include you in your weekly schedule to carve out a little time for yourself!  You know how refreshed you feel after getting a good night's sleep?  Well, having a little 'me time' to do something you enjoy is kind of the same thing - you will feel refreshed and uplifted.  This will allow you to face the other aspects of your life with more energy and focus!
#4 | I PROMISE NOT TO APOLOGIZE TO ANYONE FOR TAKING THAT TIME FOR MYSELF TO DO SOMETHING I LOVE
If you implement Promise #3 and schedule in some time for yourself (yay!), then please, please, PLEASE do NOT apologize to anyone for taking that time!  You deserve it, so no apology is needed, okay?
#5:  I PROMISE TO FORGIVE MYSELF WHEN I MAKE A MISTAKE
Everyone makes mistakes; it's okay!  Don't beat yourself up about it.  When that inevitably happens, take a few minutes to think about and challenge yourself to spot the lesson in the mistake.  Maybe you pushed yourself too hard, maybe you expected perfection out of yourself, or maybe it was just the wrong time.  These are all perfectly good reasons and do not warrant a self-flogging!  Listen to your inner voice, tell her it's okay, learn something, forgive yourself, and move on!
#6: I PROMISE TO NOT EXPECT MYSELF TO BE PERFECT
This is a tough one - as women, perfection is constantly thrown in our faces.  Look at any magazine and you will see perfection staring back at you.  Why?  Because they've photoshopped the heck out of it and even the models don't look like that in real life!  

And as much as I love me some Pinterest, if you compare yourself to all of these really crafty and super organized women sharing their *perfect* homes and families, there's no way you'll feel like  you measure up.  So...just stop doing that okay?  NOBODY is perfect, so stop expecting yourself to be!
#7: I PROMISE TO TAKE TIME TO NOTICE AND APPRECIATE MY STRENGTHS AND GIFTS
Strengths and gifts - we all have them.  What are yours?  Can you rattle off a few right now to answer that question?  If not, you need to work on this one, because I promise you...you have them.  

If you're really stuck...ask a few close friends or family members for what they see as your strengths and gifts.  Then remind yourself of those!  They are the unique things that make you, YOU!  Celebrate them!
#8: I PROMISE TO TAKE THE TIME AND MAKE THE EFFORT TO LIVE A HEALTHY LIFE AND TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF
This is so important and probably one of the harder ones because it's just so hard to find extra time in our already busy schedules for working out (and hey, that cupcake tastes pretty darn good and it definitely brings me joy!).  

But taking care of yourself and loving yourself is knowing that you are worth treating your body with respect and taking care of it. If you take care of it, your body will be able to take you on all of your adventures in life and allow you to be present for the things that bring you joy!
#9: I PROMISE TO BELIEVE MY DREAMS ARE WORTH CHASING
Your dreams are worth going after...period.  If you are dreaming about it, that means it's something you want or feel strongly about.  Why not go after it?  Sure, you may never reach the end goal, but I can promise you if you don’t try, you’ll regret it.  Besides, there’s a good chance you WILL reach that goal and blow it out of the water!  What do you have to lose?
#10: I PROMISE TO REMOVE PEOPLE FROM MY LIFE THAT TEAR ME DOWN
If there are people in your life that belittle you or don’t support you, then it’s time to reassess their presence in your life.  Being part of your life should be an honor that you bestow on those worthy of the relationship (be it romantic, familial, or platonic).

I know this can be a hard one, especially if those people are family members, but your life is worth fighting for and people that tear you down aren’t worth the battle.  Even if you can’t fully remove them from your life, you can certainly control how you react to them, how often you see them, and how much power you allow them to have over you.  

People that bring you down are not your friends and while they may genuinely love you, they have issues of their own that is blocking their ability to truly show that genuine love.   You don't need that in your life - surround yourself with people that lift you up...not down!
#11: I PROMISE TO WORK EVERY DAY AT LOVING, ACCEPTING, AND RESPECTING MYSELF BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT!
You are worth the time and effort to fall in love with you and to honor you!  Wouldn't it be awesome to like and love yourself?  You can!  And you should!  Promise yourself to work on it every single day, because having a positive relationship with yourself is one of the best things you can do for your life.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Falling in love with yourself takes time.  It takes intentional effort and a compassionate heart.  By working these 11 promises into your daily life, you will start to make that shift and change your life.

My wish for you is that you learn to see the beautiful, wise woman that you are who stands her ground, says ‘no’, and creates a life she loves.

What promises are you going to make to yourself to love yourself more?

 

**BONUS: FOR MY EMAIL COMMUNITY!**

 
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FYI, for my email community, I've created a PDF of these promises to print out and refer to every single day.  

My email community enjoys weekly emails on topics that explore finding their purpose and creating the life they crave.  I also provide them with workbooks, journal prompts, audios, and other goodies to explore what they’re craving, what’s getting in their way, and how to make the life they desire happen.  

If you’d like to get in on the fun, join my email community by clicking the button below and as a bonus and big thank you, I’ll send you this PDF so you too can print these out and make them part of your daily life!


This was originally published in 2015. Revamping it and freshening it up a few years later because it still holds strong. Enjoy!