Are you a dream chaser or a dream postponer? If you are a dream postponer, you’re likely putting off your happiness and waiting for ‘someday’. But, girlfriend, today is yesterday’s ‘someday’, so its time to ditch that mindset and start shaking things up to get the life you want! Best start chasing your dreams because no one is going to come along and hand your life to you. It’s up to you, baby!
Going for what we want in life is such a huge part of what makes up our happiness, so postponing our dreams and never giving them value is a big issue!
For a long time, I didn’t have major life-changing dreams. I lived by what was expected of me and didn’t think much beyond that.
My biggest dream was to go to Europe (Paris, specifically) and when I was 26 I made that happen. My next big dream was to be an Interior Designer, so when I was 28, I applied and was accepted to the New York School of Interior Design (I went there part time for years, but never finished my degree for other reasons, which I was fine with).
In the past year or so, my current dream/passion/obsession has become to start a business via this website (well, actually through the new one I’m working on right now!) to help women lead better lives. I want more for you and I am working really hard on making this happen!
This is my biggest dream to date and definitely has the capacity to offer some major life changes if I make my dreams a reality.
I know I can’t achieve all of my dreams (ummm…hello…Ryan Reynolds is never going to ask me to marry him no matter how much I might dream about that!). But, for any dream that I feel is achievable, even if it scares the crap out of me, it goes on my list to make happen in this lifetime.
Sadly, I don’t think most people live with this same philosophy and that makes me sad, so today, I want to dive into this topic and if I’m doing my job, by the end of this post, you’ll be ready to start chasing one (or more!) of your dreams!
Feel free to start small if this is new territory for you…that’s okay! Every time you make one happen, you’ll gain confidence and the fire in your belly will burn a little stronger.
Why people DON'T chase their dreams
Some people have no problems going after what they want, but others seem to categorize their dreams as things that would be nice ‘someday’.
I think there are a few things going into that mindset that we need to address and fix:
Let’s face it, we all have a million and one things to do any given day, am I right? Dealing with the "right now" can take all of our time, especially for those of you with families!
But, here’s the thing…there is always some time or some way for something you feel passionate about and have a burning desire to achieve or experience.
Making time to do something for ourselves can cause some folks to feel immense guilt. They feel guilty about taking time away from their family or putting money towards something for themselves.
Here’s some tough love, ladies…drop the guilt. I know it’s hard! If you can’t completely get rid of it, then make peace with it and don't let it interfere with your mind when you’re thinking of your dreams.
Guilt will always be detrimental to your dreams and to yourself. Push past it, boost yourself up, and go for it.
We feel our dreams are for someone else and not us
Unfortunately, some people think the life they dream about is for someone else and not someone like them. This is so NOT true!!
Don't tell yourself and for goodness sake's don't believe it. If you can dream it, you can be it or do it. The only person holding you back from reaching your dreams is yourself. Only you have the power to remove that roadblock.
We have no idea what to do to get what we want
Dreams are nothing more than goals without a plan.
If you have no idea where to start, try breaking it down into chunks. That will likely help it seem a lot less overwhelming. If you still need help with that, you’re in luck! Hang with me girlfriend and I can help you with that (pssst….I’m going to have a course on this exact topic later this year!).
Why you should chase your dreams
Now that we're past all the reasons for why people either put their dreams on hold, or never go after them, let’s talk about why you SHOULD go for them!
Life is too short not to
Seriously, people…I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again...We only get one shot at this life and it’s up to YOU to make it what you want!
In the blink of an eye, 10 years, 20 years, 50 years are gone. You can’t wait. You have to make your dreams a priority NOW or you’ll never do them. You just might get to the end of your days with some serious regrets. (Think about it…no one that’s on their death bed say they wish they had worked more. They wish they had spent more time with their family, took time off and went on that dream vacation, or went for that one thing they always wanted to do.)
Your dreams matter
Yes…your dreams matter. Write it down, repeat it to yourself, tattoo it on your forearm, I don’t care, but the #1 reason you should go for what you want in this life…your dreams matter. And NEVER let anyone tell you they don’t!!
It'll enrich your life and give you a new found purpose
Once you start going for what you want, I think you’ll be surprised at how many doors start opening for you and other opportunities you could never dream of come your way.
An easy dream to use as an example here is travel. Visiting a place you’ve never been will change so much for you. It will open up your eyes and life to SO much more than you could imagine.
The same holds true for going after your dream career. It doesn’t really matter what it is…taking steps toward your dreams will bring new things into your life and truly enrich it in ways that you couldn’t imagine.
Simply put…why not go for your dreams? What have you got to lose?
How to start chasing your dreams
Now that I’ve got you fired up and ready to start making things happen, let me give you a few tips for getting yourself on the right path for success!
Tell yourself you're worth it
Let’s say your dream is to open a cupcake shoppe (I use ‘shoppe’ since it sounds more girly & fancy! This isn’t your standard, run of the mill cupcake place!!). Instead of thinking its a dream for someone else or that you will never have the money or no one would want your cupcakes, think…I deserve to have my own business…people will love my cupcakes…I’m worth taking the chance and making this happen!
Visualize yourself actually doing or achieving your dream
Don’t just see yourself through the lens of a dream that will never happen, change the lens and see yourself through the eyes of ‘this is my future and this will happen’.
That slight mental shift should give you a little kick. If you start thinking of your dream as when instead of if/never, you’ll automatically start walking that path.
So cupcake girl, see yourself in that adorable shop. See customers lined out the door. Feel how amazing it feels to know you did it and reached your dream.
Then take a deep breath and remind yourself that you will do this and you’re worth it.
Break it down into do-able chunks
This is something else I’ve said before that I’ll say again…big goals are nothing more than a bunch of little goals.
Instead of being overwhelmed by the one big goal, break it up into smaller chunks and then just focus on those one at a time.
It might take you 6 months or it might take you 6 years. Either way, if you are continually working on it and checking things off a list (i.e. seeing results and progress), you’ll keep going!!
For opening a cupcake shoppe, there’s obviously a LOT to do to get to that point, right? Figure out what needs to be done in the short term vs. long term and start working on things today!
Do something every single day to achieve your dream
It might be something small, it might be something big, but you can do something every single day to get a step closer to making your dream a reality!
The baby steps will lead to big progress and the constant motion will keep your goals present and inspiring.
How to Deal with the Negative Folks
Before we go, I wanted to be sure to touch on one last topic since you are bound to run into this when you start making some changes in your life.
Unfortunately, there will always be someone that will tell you that you can’t or you’re crazy. It could be a friend, a sister, your mom, your favorite aunt, etc. But I promise you, someone will try to convince you not to give it a try (either bluntly or more passive aggressive, manipulatively).
This sucks and it’s hard, but you have a couple of options...
Don't share your plans with them
Let them think you’ve given it up. Yes, it’s somewhat deceitful, but not really…what you do with your life is nobody’s business but yours (now…if your spouse or significant other is the naysayer, this is a bit more challenging, especially if your dream involves finances!).
Talk to them
Have a heart to heart with them telling them how important this is to you and how much their support would mean to you. Maybe they think it’s a whim and they’re trying to protect you, but if they realize how important this is to you, that may be the ticket to getting their support.
Don't take it personally
Realize that their lack of support probably has nothing to do with you and is more of a reflection of something going on with them. Perhaps, they’ve always had a dream but never went for it and there’s a bit of jealousy that you’re strong enough and motivated enough to go after what you want.
Maybe they feel threatened by you achieving your goal (i.e. if you successfully open a cupcake shoppe it might make your best friend feel like she hasn’t done anything with her life). You never know what’s going on with someone else, but your life is just that…YOUR life. You can’t let others get in the way of you going after what you know if you know this is the right path for you.
Sever ties (or greatly distance yourself)
In extreme cases, you might have to distance yourself from them or completely cut them off if it really becomes a negative issue.
I say "extreme" because this is obviously not the desired solution, but in some cases, if the situation becomes toxic or you feel it is affecting your ability to follow through, then it might be something to consider (obviously, there would need to be some consideration on your part on whether losing this person is worth achieving your dream…I’m not suggesting you bulldoze over people to get what you want, but if you know in your heart what you’re going for is the right thing for you and your life, then this might be necessary.).
Fortunately, I haven’t been faced with this, but I would absolutely consider it if I felt it was necessary!
Alright ladies...your turn! Fess up...are you a dream chaser or a dream postponer? If you're the latter, have I maybe intrigued you an eensy weensy bit to start going after them? Leave me a comment and let me know!!