Be 100% You {it's so much better!}


Remember being a teenager when everyone was desperately trying to be ‘normal’?  Everybody wore the same brands, the same hairstyles, the same shoes, etc. etc. etc.

You wanted to fit in, be like everyone else, and avoid becoming a target for ridicule!  

As you moved into adulthood, you probably dropped a little of that and began to step into your own individuality, but, if you're like most people, you still cling to that desire to "fit in" and be like everyone else.  Society has taught you that it's safer to hide your quirks so you blend in with everyone else.

You want to be ‘normal’.  But, here’s the real deal…

No one is ‘normal’ by the traditional definition!  Everyone is unique with their own individual quirks and weirdness, and THAT is what is normal.

Most people try to hide their quirkiness or, unfortunately, feel ashamed of what makes them unique.  The fear of what others will think or, even worse, say, has a profound impact on how you present yourself. 

Everyone tries to fit into the ‘norm’, but who defines this?  What’s ‘normal’ to one person is completely ‘crazy' to someone else, so what are you trying to align ourselves to anyway?  

Personally, I love the weird, quirky, unique things in each person I meet.  That’s what makes each person interesting!  If everyone were the same, the world would be incredibly boring!

Here's the thing about people judging other people:  it has nothing to do with you.

When someone judges other people, it’s a reflection of their own insecurities and for things they feel shame.  They project it on others as a means to help themselves feel better. 

Think about it…where do most women feel insecure?  Their bodies and appearance.  When you hear women tearing each other apart (which sadly, they do frequently), where are they aiming their sharp daggers? 

At women’s bodies or appearance. 

Most likely, it's to help themselves feel better about their own insecurities.  Another big area where women attack and judge others is around motherhood.  Mothers are judged for every single thing they do or don't do with their kids.  Women who don't have children are judged just as harshly for their 'failure' to populate the world.  Working moms judge non-working moms and vice versa.

All of this judging comes down to people trying to soothe their own insecurities.  No matter what choice you make or how 'normal' you live your life, you're still going to be judged (which is unfortunate!).

So, what does that mean?

Everyone is trying to hide who they really are to align with this ideal of ‘normal’ when in reality, they're just pandering to other people’s insecurities.

If you turn your focus on yourself to heal and accept yourself as you are, there'd be no room for judging others.

When you show up in life as the real you - not some edited version of you - I guarantee that more people will admire you and respect you as you are.  Yes, you might get judged by some people, but I hate to break it to you, even in your carefully edited public persona that you're rocking right now, you already get judged. 

So, if you're going to be judged no matter what you do, or how you act, or what you say, you might as well be true to yourself and show up as you!  Don’t worry about what the judge-y people say or think.  That’s a reflection of their insecurities and it has nothing to do with you.

Be you…be 100% you.  The original you is so much better than the edited version!

I originally published this post back in early 2016 and I still stand by the recommendation to drop the false facades and just be you. There's a freedom and inner peace that come from being true to who you are and living a life that aligns with that. My wish for you is that you follow your heart, not what you think others are saying or thinking. Just be YOU!
- Vicky, Feb 2018