Exploring your Inner Bully {+10 Juicy Journal Prompts!}

If you are a regular around here, you know I love to journal.  In the past, I’ve shared other journaling prompts and they’ve proven to be rather popular posts, so it seems like you guys love to journal too!


My Inner Bully?

I’m sure you’re no stranger to the topic of Inner Bullies, Inner Critics, Inner Mean Girls, etc.  Call it what you want, but what we’re talking about here is that voice inside your head that tells you all kinds of bad things.

I’m too fat.
I’m not pretty.
I’m not smart enough.
I could never do that.

Sound familiar? 

Although, I bet the voice inside your head is probably saying much worse things than these simple examples.  Am I right?

I like to refer to these voices as our Inner Bully because that’s essentially what they are!

What does a bully do?  Pick on other people; especially those they deem weaker than themselves.  They berate others as a means to control them.

That’ s exactly what that inner voice is doing to you…bullying you by berating you, beating you down (especially when you’re feeling vulnerable or scared) and because you end up not taking that step or giving something new a try…they’ve successfully controlled you and your actions.

I bet you’re getting tired of it too, right?


Why Do We Have Inner Bullies?

Lest you think you’re special for having this annoying ‘friend’ inside your head, let me assure you that you’re not.

Every single person walking on this planet has an Inner Bully/Critic.  I like to shy away from calling them Inner Mean Girls because your bully could take on the form of a male, female, or it could be an ugly creature where you can’t even tell if it’s a male or female!  

These inner thoughts and voices are a part of us, of course, but they’re not us.

They’ve developed over time as a means to protect you from harm, pain, disappointment, etc.

While some of us may hear these voices daily, oftentimes they tend to show, or get the loudest, when we’re on the brink of doing something new or potentially risky.

About to give a presentation at work?  
About to go on a first date with that hottie you’ve been eyeing for weeks?  
About to start a new job (or quit your current one!)?

These are examples of big steps where there’s a lot of the line…rejection, humiliation, etc.  Those inner bully voices start to rise up to keep you from putting yourself in a place to experience that.  

They convince you that you aren’t good enough to do whatever you’re about to do, so you won’t do it.

Pretty sneaky, aren’t they?!

But, they’re not all bad.  They come from a place of love…they’re trying to protect you and keep you safe.  But, here's the thing...you don’t need their protection.

So, what can you do about it?


Working With Your Inner Bully

Our Inner Bullies, as I mentioned, are part of us.  Unfortunately, we can’t just kick them to the curb and move on with our lives.  They’re there and they have a purpose.  But…that doesn’t mean that we have to let them control us or that we can't give them a new job!!!

Once we see our Inner Bullies for what they are and recognize that just because we think something (i.e. they whisper something in our heads) does not mean that we have to believe it.

When we can see the bully, recognize their purpose (trying to protect us), and realize we don’t need their protection, we can start to separate ourselves from their grasp.  

It doesn’t mean they go away, it just means we take away their power.  We recognize them, we thank them for their objective, then kindly dismiss them.

How does that sound?


Exploring Your Inner Bully

Getting a grip on your Inner Bully can take some work.  The first step is actually getting to know them.  Awareness, as with anything, is power.

When you start exploring them, you can start to see them.  When you start to see them, you can start to get to know them.  When you get to know them, you start to lessen their power over you and take back control of your life.

I’m betting you would love to let go of those annoying voices that are holding you back…am I right?

The following journal prompts are just the ticket for getting you on that path.  

10 Journal Prompts to Explore Your Inner Bully Further

  1. What is your Inner Bully telling you on a daily basis? 
  2. When you think about the last time you wanted to try something new, or go for something big, how did your Inner Bully show up differently?  (maybe they got louder, their messages were meaner, etc.)
  3. Pick 1 or 2 of the messages your Inner Bully is telling you…where do you think these came from?  What are they trying to protect you from and why do you think they are specifically trying to protect you from that? (It’s okay if you can’t figure out where or why they’re there…they may have been there for so long you don’t remember what caused it to show up)
  4. What would you like to tell your Inner Bully?  You might want to explore this further by writing a letter from yourself to your Inner Bully...
  5. How would your life be different if you no longer listened to that voice and you were able to rise above it?
  6. What would it mean for you to have more control over your decisions and not be afraid to take chances?
  7. How is listening to the messages of your Inner Bully getting in the way of what you want in life?  What's it costing you?
  8. Since we can’t get rid of our Inner Bullies, but we can learn to let go of their hold over us, what would like the new role to be for your Inner Bully?  Think of it as giving them a new job…what would be their new job?
  9. Go back to #1…take the messages your Inner Bully is telling you and flip them around.  How is your Inner Bully wrong on all of these?  Think back over your life and provide examples to prove your point…everything they’re telling you is wrong.
  10. Instead of the crap your Inner Bully tells you on a daily basis…what messages, instead, would you like to hear in your head each day?  How about when you’re about to take a big, bold step?  What do you need and want to hear to make your days better and to feel more confident in taking those steps?


Download a copy of these journaling prompts to keep in your journal as a reference!  Just click on the “Gimme my Journal Prompts” button to get started...

Edit:  This PDF is no longer available

So...I'm curious...what is your Inner Bully telling you? How are you letting it hold you back in life? Let me know in the comments below!