Quit Trying to Be Happy All the Time

There's a movement these days to be happy all.the.damn.time.

Happy, happy, happy!

If you do a quick Google search on 'happy' you'll see links for habits of happy people, ways to be incredibly happy, etc.

It's as if the elusive answer to how to be happy all the time is the key to fixing all of your problems.

Look, I think wallowing in self-pity and being a negative, cynical, miserable person isn't what any of us want to aim for, but happy all the time?

That's a bit of an extreme on the other end of the spectrum.

Not only is aiming for never ending happiness a recipe for setting yourself up for epic disappointments, it's not healthy, so let's just cut the crap, m'kay?

I'm generally a happy person.  I like being happy (who doesn't?!).  But, I'm not happy all of the time and I'm glad I'm not.  

I don't want to be happy 24/7 365 days a year.  

You can't be happy all the time. It's not humanly possible.


You shouldn't want to be.  

Here's the thing, peeps...by being unhappy you get to be happy.  

I don't mean you'll be happy and unhappy at the same time. but they're two sides to the same coin.

In other words, you can't have one without the other.

If you were happy all the time, you wouldn't understand how amazing it feels.  That would be the norm.  It would be routine and mundane because you'd have nothing to compare it against.

When you think about your happiest memories, you can appreciate how amazing they were because you know the flip side.

Feeling the lows, allows you to revel in the highs.

Besides, when you're feeling down, that's when the tough stuff is built.  

You don't get strong by being happy. You get strong when you're at your weakest.

To get the benefit of all that sugary, fluffy happiness when it does descend upon you...you have to really feel and go through the unhappy.

Remember...two sides...same coin.

And yeah...I'm a life coach.  You could say I'm supposed to sell happy.  But, I don't and I won't.  I want people to live the life they want to live and yes, I hope that ultimately brings them a level of happiness they've never experienced before.  But, I'm not here to blow smoke up your beautiful hiney.  Before you get to that place, you're going to go through some unhappy times.  In fact, you'll go through some downright crappy times.  I'm not being mean when I say this, but as a coach...I want you to go through this.  It's when you go through this that you make life changes.  It's all part of building you up to that place that will allow you to achieve that higher level of happiness.  

Once you're there, you won't suddenly find the secret to a permanently blissful life.  I'm not going to promise you that because it doesn't exist.  Even in your ideal life, your dream life...you will go through phases of unhappiness.  

It's called life.

The better you are able to go through the rough patches and the not so happy times, the more resilient you become and the quicker you bounce back.

When you feel the feels and truly experience the lows, you move past it faster and you release it.  When you try to ignore it to stay happy, happy, happy, you just bury it deeper and it festers and bubbles over to touch every aspect of your life.  You don't bounce back because you stay stuck in the muck.

So...my lesson for you today is quit trying to be happy all the time.  Accept where you are, feel what you're feeling, and allow yourself the time to climb out of the muck. 

What do you think about the current emphasis on being happy all the time? Realistic or a recipe for disappointment? Share your thoughts in the comments below!