It's Not Selfish to Want More From Your Life

You’ve worked hard to get where you are in life and proud of everything you’ve accomplished.  When you set your mind to a task, you typically make it happen.

You have everything you wanted, and for all outward appearances, you are the picture of success.

While you are grateful for the life you’ve built for yourself, you have a secret that you don’t want to admit to anyone…

You’re not happy with the life you’ve created for yourself because it’s not enough.

And, you feel incredibly selfish for wanting more.

 

‘WANTING MORE’ = ‘WANTING SOMETHING DIFFERENT’

People judge people.

In spite of the fact that no one likes this, most people judge others.

The problem with this is that most people live their lives according to other people’s judgment.  Either they do what other people want or expect, or they don’t do what they want because of what other’s might think or say.

This mindset is part of what leads us to feel selfish for wanting more.

Just saying the phrase ‘wanting more’ sounds selfish! Don’t get me wrong - in some cases, the pursuit of ‘more’ can cross the line into selfish territory, but in most ‘normal’ cases, it's not selfish.  It’s being a human.

 
It’s human nature to want more and to strive for more.

Wanting more because you’re not feeling fulfilled or satisfied with your current life isn’t selfish.
 

So, let’s reframe ‘wanting more’ and think of it as ‘wanting something different.'

Regardless of how successful your life appears to others, you want things to be different because it’s not fulfilling or providing the enough meaning.

Everyone desires a life that makes them feel like they are providing value to the world and doing work that makes them proud.  If your current career and life choices aren't giving that to you, it doesn't matter how impressive or high paying is your job or how cool are your extracurricular activities.

It’s not selfish to want to live a life that excites you, fulfills you, and gives you a sense of purpose.

If you want “more” from your life and you’re afraid to make the necessary changes because of what others think, you have to let that go, or you’ll never be in control of your own life.

 

YOU ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING

In our society, you pick a career when you’re in high school so you can choose a college and a major.  I’ve always thought this was ridiculous!  

How can you know what you want to do with the rest of your life when the world of opportunities has just started to unfold for you?

Yet, you pick a college and a major and start down the path for a life you choose before you are allowed to see an “R” rated movie.

Then, 25 years later, after living that life and realizing it doesn’t fit who you are, you feel guilty for wanting to change it.

Here’s the thing - even if what you picked for your life in high school was the right for awhile, people change.

Life changes you, and as you enter your late 30s and 40s, life outside of work starts to become more important.

The career goals lose their luster, and the life goals take on more importance.

It’s natural to make shifts and want different things in your life because you are always changing.

 
You are not the same person that you were at 15, 25, or even 35.  Who you are now is not who you’ll be at 55, 65, or 75.

People change, and that’s normal and to be expected.
 

So, how you live your life from your career to your relationships, to what’s important to you will change over time.

It’s not selfish to want to realign how you’re living your life, so it matches who you are as a person.

 

IT’S YOUR LIFE

At the end of the day, this is your life.

You get one shot and every single day that passes is either a lost opportunity to live it how you want or a new chance to do what your heart desires.

You’re the one that will look back on your life when you’re 80 years old and either celebrate all that you did or regret everything you didn’t.

You don’t owe it to anyone to continue living a life that isn’t what you want.

Does this mean some things will change?  Of course. Some will be small changes; others may be large disruptive changes.

But, that’s okay.  It won’t kill you or anyone else.

I hope the people in your life that care about you, ultimately, want you to be happy.

Keep in mind when others try to hold you back or criticize you when you try to change, it’s not about you.  You’re bumping up against their insecurities, and the criticism and desire to prevent you from changing are because they don’t want to deal with the fact that they aren’t strong enough to do the same.

Don’t worry about them - be strong enough to follow your heart

If you aren’t happy with your life and you crave more, seek it and find it.

You deserve the life you crave.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Life is never easy, and as the years pass, we change.

Who we are, what we want, what we enjoy, what’s important to us - it all changes with each passing year.

If the life you’ve worked so hard to create for yourself is no longer fitting with the person you have become, it’s perfectly okay to reinvent yourself.

It’s not selfish to want more from your life - it’s natural.