Listen Up! Your Inner Bully is Trying to Tell You Something

Your Inner Bully talks to you every single day.

No matter how advanced you are on your personal growth journey, your Inner Bully is still there and still chattering away.

In fact, it’s likely that you have several Inner Bullies and sometimes they get together and throw a loud party to make sure you hear them.

In case you’ve forgotten, your Inner Bully comes out the strongest and loudest when you’re about to do something BIG.

I like to use the presence of my Inner Bully as a motivator - when it shows up, it’s time to face my fear and make something epic happen.

But, before I dismiss my Inner Bully, I like to try to figure out what exactly it’s trying to tell me so I can work a little more on myself.

 

The Purpose of Your Inner Bully

The purpose of your Inner Bully is to protect you.

It was born as the result of a situation where you experienced pain, embarrassment, disappointment, fear, or something else equally unpleasant.  It’s a part of you that is trying to ensure you never experience those negative feelings again.

 
Your Inner Bully comes from a place of love, but it’s misguided and always assumes worst case scenario.  It can’t fathom that things will turn out in your favor, it can only see you crashing and going down in a big ball of flames.
 

It’s not going to show up when you’re going for a walk in the park on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.  That is unless you’re on your way to meet a new date that has your heart racing.  In that case, your Inner Bully will be like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum!  It’ll be jumping up and down and telling you anything to make you turn around and go back to your safe place where you won’t get hurt.

Too often, we lean into the voice of the Inner Bully and do exactly that - we stop in our tracks, and we don’t move forward because we believe the crap it’s telling us.

 

What Your Inner Bully is Telling You

If you listen carefully, your Inner Bully is trying to tell you something every time it hops on it’s annoying soapbox.

Yes, your Inner Bully will inform you that you’re not good enough to take that chance, or you’re too old/boring/fat/untalented/unskilled.  They want you to hear that part, and to their credit, you usually do.

They’re masters of disguise, and they’re the best salesmen out there because they can sell you on their load of crap without much effort.

They don’t want you to dig underneath the surface or to shine a light on them.  When you do that, you see them for the frauds they are, so they will go the extra mile to make you so afraid or sad that you don’t even think to probe deeper.

But, if you listen to that discouraging, mean voice with an objective ear, you’ll start to hear the cracks in their message.  Better yet, you can start to counter their argument and show them where they’re wrong.

Inner Bullies don’t like evidence, and they don’t like to be called out on their crap.

 
If you pay attention, you can start to hear what the Inner Bully is telling you - you’re afraid and why this is the case.
 

If you can get to the bottom of what frightens you about taking that chance, or putting yourself out there, or trying something new, you can take steps to lessen that fear.

Usually, our fears stem from not knowing what's ahead or not wanting to be hurt or publicly humiliated. If you can unmask the fear behind the Inner Bully’s message, you can shine a light on it and make it run for cover.

Once you know what's behind the Inner Bully, you can take control because you know what's going on.  You may still be afraid to take that chance, but you’re more aware of what's happening in your mind and heart.  With this knowledge, you can prepare for it and bolster your confidence.

Along the way, you will learn SO much about yourself and what makes you tick.

As a result, you start to lessen the hold of your Inner Bullies.  You will also grow emotionally and mentally.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Our Inner Bullies have years of experience trying to control our actions, and they’re masters at it.

Most of us listen and believe what they tell us without a second thought.

But, if you can start to recognize when they’re showing up, you can take a step back and look at them more objectively.

When you can dig beneath the surface, you’ll start to hear what the Inner Bully is actually telling you and grow beyond their message.

Need help with this - contact me and let’s work together!  I love to help my clients meet their Inner Bullies and face them head on!