Why You Need to Make Time for Solo Time

Everyone is busy - work, the gym, errands, the kids, friends, dating, etc.

Women tend to be responsible for not only their own lives, but they typically shoulder the bulk of the responsibility within the family dynamic.  Not to mention, trying to nurture and grow their careers.

The result - there’s no time left for you.

While the crazy schedules and never ending to-do list are somewhat to blame, women themselves are also partly to blame.  

Women try to be martyrs.  They see value in themselves when they ‘do it all', take care of everyone’s needs and everything else that goes into being the ‘perfect’ mom, partner, employee, boss, daughter, friend, etc.

In the process of this madness, they sacrifice themselves.

Sound familiar?

All you’re doing is harming your own health (physical, emotional, and mental) while not providing your best self for those in your life.

Taking time for you makes you happier, stronger, and a better version of you for your family and friends to experience.

 

WHY SOLO TIME IS NECESSARY

Taking time for yourself is necessary.  It’s as important as what you eat and how much you move.

You have to give yourself a break from time to time.

Time for yourself is your own personal holiday - whether that be 10 minutes or 8 hours or an entire weekend.

It’s a chance for you to take a breath, relax, and sink into your thoughts, feelings, and needs.

There are numerous benefits to alone time (especially if you’re an introvert!).

 
Alone time is when you recharge.  How useful is your cell phone if you drain the batteries and never recharge it?
 

Alone time allows us to relax, tap into our inner wisdom, and grow.  When we spend time with ourselves, we quiet the mind, turn off external distractions, and focus on our own desires.

Doing this allows us to expand - we deepen our relationship with ourselves, experience growth, and allow our creativity to flourish.

Carving out time for yourself is better for your health because it allows you to release stress and introduce a bit more balance into your life.  You aren’t a machine that can run 24/7.  Solo time gives you the chance to balance out the busyness.

 

HOW TO NOT FEEL GUILTY

For women, taking solo time is a typically a BIG trigger for feeling selfish.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it - It’s not selfish to take care of yourself.

 
It’s not admirable to work yourself to the bone with no breaks.
It’s not beneficial to ignore your own needs and sacrifice your own desires.
 

As a woman, you likely want to provide the best for those around you.  You want to be the best partner, mother, employee, boss, etc.

You mistakenly feel that to be the ‘best’ you have to ignore yourself because by not giving 100% of yourself to someone or something else, then you're not your ‘best.'

Let’s reframe things a bit…

To be your best, you have to spend time on your own.  You will NEVER be at your best if you don’t.

So, if you’re not taking that time because you feel it’s selfish, guess what...

You’re living out your fear - providing less than your best to everyone else.

It is never selfish to be aware of your needs and boundaries and honoring them.

You will be a better partner, mother, sister, daughter, friend, employee, boss, etc. if you take the time you need to recharge and enjoy you for a bit.
 

TIPS FOR SETTING ASIDE SOLO TIME

So, you’re starting to understand the value of taking a little time for yourself.  Your next logical question is likely is how to start making that happen when you don’t feel you have an ounce of spare time.

Am I right?

To start listening to your own needs and making time for yourself, you have to value yourself more.  When we value things, we make them priorities.

“Not having enough time” is never really the issue.  When we want to do something, we make time for it.

But, to help you out a little more, here are a few tips...

Tips for Taking More Solo Time

  • Let go of the martyrdom:  Your family will respect you more if they see you respecting yourself.  You do not have to take care of it all for everyone else all the time.  You’re not doing yourself or anyone else any favors.

  • Let go of the guilt:  Taking care of yourself is not something that should induce guilt.  If it does, dig into that to figure out what’s underneath it so you can let it go

  • Figure out what you enjoy doing:  To enjoy spending time on your own, you have to know what you like doing.  Figure this out, then work this into your schedule.

  • Start small:  You don’t have to start out with a full day at the spa.  Maybe it’s just an afternoon coffee break, then work your way up to something longer and more involved.

  • Communicate:  Let your family and friends know that you are honoring your needs so you can be a better version for them and you expect them to give you the necessary space to do so.  Set the boundaries and say ‘no’ when requests from others bump up against your needs.
  • Tell yourself you’re worthy:  Remind yourself daily that you are worthy of time alone and enjoying yourself.  You deserve this because your needs are valid.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS

It can be hard to carve out time for yourself given your busy life and high expectations for yourself.

Making time for solo time is imperative to your health.

Be a better you simply by honoring your needs and desires.

Need help with this?  Work with me or join the waiting list for the Self-love + Moxie group program launching later this year.