You know the voice...that mean inner critic that is always whispering terrible things to sabotage your best of intentions.
How often has it stopped you in your tracks, made you doubt yourself, then play it much safer than you originally planned?
I call it the Inner Bully because it’s verbally beating you up, taunting you, and controlling your actions.
That super critical voice is a form of self-abuse, but believe it or not, it has a purpose.
Despite the term ‘bully’ or ‘critic,' the voice comes from a loving place within you. It’s trying to protect you from getting hurt.
Its intentions are pure, but it’s methods are not.
By giving into the taunts, it's no surprise that it lowers your self-esteem and prevents you from living a life where you challenge yourself and grow.
Here’s the thing, you will never be able to get rid of your inner bullies, so you have to learn to partner with them.
IGNORING YOUR INNER BULLY WON’T MAKE IT GO AWAY
You can try to ignore your Inner Bully, but good luck with that.
Your Inner Bully is nothing, if not persistent.
It has one job - to remind you why you shouldn’t do that thing that scares you a little bit.
It is remarkably good at its job.
It’s also sneaky - it’ll pop up when you least expect it, and it’ll reinvent itself just when you think you’ve tackled it.
Think of your Inner Bully like a toddler craving attention. How well does it work to ignore a toddler hell bent on getting attention?
When you acknowledge your Inner Bully, you take away some of its power.
Acknowledging it does not mean you give in to it!
Paying attention just means you note it’s presence, thank it for trying to protect you, then explain that you have different plans than what they have in mind.
Yes, it sounds crazy to actually engage with the bully, but trust me it works. When you acknowledge it’s presence, validate its existence, but explain your plan it empowers you and shifts the control back to YOU.
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Our Inner Bully’s message is typically a smoke screen for our insecurities.
If you want to improve yourself and grow, don't just listen and believe whatever your Inner Bully tells you and don't try to ignore it. Take the time to peel back the layers to discover the message behind the taunts.
Think of it this way; your Inner Bully is your personal self-help manual!
If you take the time to dig in to figure out why it’s showing up and what it’s trying to protect you from, you’ll uncover some powerful information on yourself that you can use to grow and be a better version of yourself.
Discovering this is where the real inner work happens and you can thank your Inner Bully for enlightening you to your areas of weakness.
YOUR INNER BULLY IS YOUR MOTIVATOR
Your Inner Bully is the best motivator for facing your fears and doing the hard things.
Using this as motivation, however, is not to encourage using fear as a tactic for pushing you forward!
Just knowing and understanding that when your Inner Bully gets loud, it means you’re onto something good. Instead of listening to the self-abusive slurs it’s slinging your way, thank the bully for being concerned enough for you to try to keep you safe. Then assure it you’ve got this handled and do exactly that - prove it wrong.
You now have evidence to the contrary on anything it might tell you in the future - and it knows this (that’s not to say it won’t reinvent itself to pop up when you have another fear).
Your Inner Bully isn’t going anywhere, so the best thing is to see it as a gift.
Don’t empower it by giving into its scare tactics.
But, acknowledge it, see it for what it is (self-protection), and then dig in to learn the true lesson behind it.
When you view your Inner Bully from this perspective, you will see why you should never try to silence your Inner Bully.
There’s just too much to gain!
Need any help working with your Inner Bully? Let’s work together!