How to Love Being Single
Women aren’t supposed to love being single. It flies in the face of convention. Society (and nosy relatives) tell women they should be coupled up or on the constant quest to find the next man in their life.
But, to love being single means you love where you are in your life, regardless of who’s in it and that, my dear, is when you are living a life of your own design where you are fully in control.
Just because you love being single doesn’t mean you don’t want to be in a relationship (it might, but the don’t necessarily go hand in hand).
The beauty of loving being single is that it frees you up to be in control of your life, your choices, your place in life, and your happiness.
WHY IT’S OKAY TO LOVE BEING SINGLE
A relationship – a man – doesn’t define who you are: you do. When you’re okay flying solo, you’ll be able to love your life regardless of your romantic situation – you’re in control of your happiness.
If you need a man or partner to make you happy, you’re putting your happiness in someone else’s hands.
When you value your independence and own your self-worth (two important pieces to loving being single), you won’t put up with crap. You won’t stay with anyone that treats you less than you deserve because you know you deserve the best – being single won’t be a deterrent for ending a relationship that isn’t working.
You get to be you – you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, you don’t have to compromise for how you spend your time…you get to be you
When you’re single, and you love it, that doesn’t mean you don’t date, or you swear off of men! It just means you aren’t pining away for a +1. Your life isn’t dull and gray in the absence of a guy in your life. You live a life painted in the colors you choose. You will date if you so choose, and when you’re ready for something more, you’ll know it and be willing to move to a new chapter in your life.
HOW TO LOVE BEING SINGLE
If you’re not in a relationship and you aren’t happy about that, there are ways to embrace your life as is and enjoy your current status...
BEING SINGLE DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE A LOSER
Women, in particular, seem to think they’re not as worthy if they don’t have a man on their arms.
Going to a wedding alone? The horror!
They feel embarrassed to admit they’re single. The first step to embracing your single status and loving it is to eliminate the false notion that being single makes you a loser.
I don’t like to think of anyone as a ‘loser,' but if I’m faced with a woman who’s single and loves life versus a woman who’s in a relationship and miserable, I’ll be drawn to the happy, independent woman. I'll feel sorry for the sad, partnered up woman (not because she’s in a relationship, but because she’d rather stay in an unhappy relationship than strike free on her own!).
If you enjoy your life and live it fully, who cares what anyone else thinks anyway?! Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business anyway.
DO THE WORK TO IMPROVE YOURSELF
If you think you need someone else in your life to feel whole or happy, it’s time to do some work on yourself and unpackage those ideas.
Take the time to figure out where those ideas come from and then work to disprove them to see the other side of being single.
When you’re on your own, it’s also time to try new things! Now’s the time to be curious and experiment with your life. Figure out what you love, what fulfills you, and grow beyond your expectations.
Part of working on yourself is upgrading your mindset. If you only allow yourself to see what’s wrong with being single, then you’ll never be able to enjoy. There are always pros and cons to any situation in life, so the key to enjoying where you are is to maximize the pros and minimize the cons.
That’s not to suggest you throw on a pair of rose-colored glasses and ignore the other side; it’s just making an intentional choice about how you view your world.
FILL YOUR LIFE WITH THINGS YOU ENJOY
The beauty of being single is that you get to do whatever you want with your time. There’s no compromising or doing things you don’t love for the sake of someone else.
If you’ve always wanted to go to a midnight showing of a classic Hollywood movie but never been with someone that would take you up on that? Well, now’s your chance!
Yes, you could take the view that you don’t have anyone to enjoy it with, but by working on your mindset, you will see there are advantages that you can embrace (i.e. you can leave whenever you want without).
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t go on dates! First off, you will still go on dates with men, but you can also go on dates with yourself!
See that movie you’re dying to see, try the new restaurant that’s getting rave reviews, stay in with your favorite take-out and Netflix. Buy yourself flowers and get dressed up just because...
When you make yourself feel special, you’ll enjoy just being you.
Personally, I LOVE being single, but these days I’m not. Fortunately, I’m with someone that also loves being single, so we give each other space and enjoy being with each other, but also having time to do our own thing.
You won’t be single forever, unless you choose that, in which case, enjoy it!
When you find someone to be in a relationship with, he’ll love your confidence and independence. If he's the right guy, he’ll enhance everything you’ve already established for yourself while still giving you the space to be you (i.e. you can still go to that midnight showing of a classic Hollywood movie without your new guy because you’re an independent gal even when you’re coupled off!).
Loving being single isn’t about masking resentment or bitterness at being single, it’s about loving your life exactly as it is at exactly this moment in your life.