The Key to Redesigning Your Life: Let Go of the How
It’s frustrating to feel stuck in life.
You’re ready for a change and crave something new, but you can’t quite figure out how to make that happen.
Maybe you feel your responsibilities won’t allow it, or you’re afraid to screw things up if you strike out on a new adventure.
While those may play a part in keeping you stuck, you’re a go-getter, and not used to playing it safe and not taking action.
It’s confusing to deeply feel that something needs to change only to spin your wheels while everything stays the same.
Here’s the thing: one of the biggest reasons people stay stuck in a life that doesn’t quite fit anymore is because what they crave is a new way of life - something they’ve never lived before.
Wanting something entirely new is totally fine, and I encourage anyone that wants to reinvent their life to go for it! But, unfortunately, in the process of trying to make that happen, most people create an action plan from a limited perspective and never achieve what they so desperately desire.
Here’s the root of the problem: When you create a plan from what you’ve always known - what’s always worked for you, you deny yourself the change to explore the new ways, habits, and skills that are necessary for the life you’re seeking.
But, that’s understandable! If the life you crave differs from the life you’re living and requires you to step into a new version of yourself; then, of course, you won’t know how to do that!
To attempt to create an action plan based on your past experiences means you’ll either play too small, or you’ll stay stuck because what you’ve always done won’t allow you to become who you’re meant to be.
So, what do you do if you’re caught in this conundrum??
You let go of the ‘HOW.’
LETTING GO OF THE ‘HOW’
One of the first things you learn when it comes to achieving goals is that you set the goal and create the plan to reach that goal.
In other words, you define the ‘what’ and design the ‘how.’
There’s even a famous quote around this: “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
So, if you’re a goal-setter, project-planner, list-checking person like me, the idea of letting go of the ‘how’ can feel extreme and completely misguided!
It goes against everything you know: identify your goal and reverse engineer.
But, when you are embarking on something you’ve never done before, it may not be that straightforward, so the idea here is to let go of all of that!
You’ve likely never approached a goal with this perspective, but if defining the ‘how’ is keeping you stuck and overwhelmed, then it’s time to stop trying to figure it out.
Since this idea may seem completely infeasible, allow me to let you in on a little secret: when you strongly believe in yourself and your goals, the universe will deliver.
Jen Sincero says in her book, You are a Badass at Making Money, that the HOW is none of our concern. Our job is to get clear on where we want to go, strongly believe in our ability to make it happen, have faith in ourselves, and the universe will provide avenues that will allow us to reach that final destination.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RELEASE THE ‘HOW’
You probably think I’m a little crazy, right? Like, how can this possibly work? How can you achieve a goal if you don’t have a plan??
Here’s what happens when you let go of the ‘how’: you open yourself up to endless opportunities.
When you open yourself to new and unknown ways of achieving what you want, you’re constantly scanning your environment (without even realizing it!) for ways to explore your ideas.
Someone will say something that perks up your ears; you’ll notice a sign in a window that you would’ve otherwise missed, you’ll think of something to try that you would’ve ignored.
By not creating an action plan, you’re not limiting your journey.
If you try to create a plan based on what you’ve always done, you create a very limited path, and you focus only on those steps and miss all of the other amazing options the universe will toss in front of you.
Another bonus benefit from letting go of the ‘how’ is that it feels amazingly freeing! It instantly quiets the Inner Bully because it doesn’t have anything to scare you away from!
Look, I get it...for project-planners and goal-setters, the idea of letting go of your precious step-by-step action plans is terrifying. It feels a bit like jumping out of a plane without a parachute!
But, if you’re feeling stuck in life and what you want seems out of your grasp, isn’t it worth giving it a try?
Who knows, maybe what you covet isn’t so unattainable after all!