3 Reasons you're not Adventurous (and what to do about it!)


I just want to have a little more fun in my life!  I want to be more adventurous!

The rallying cry of women over 40!

Defining what adventure means to you by rejecting society’s definition (i.e., travel more!), means that you get to create a doable plan.

But, let’s say you’ve done the work to redefine adventure according to what you’re craving more of in your life.  You’ve also brainstormed on some ideas of things you can do to start being that adventurous self you’re craving.

Heck, you’ve even found a few classes, or events,  happening in your area that aligns perfectly with this new vision of you!

But, your finger stays hovered over the mouse, and you just can’t bring yourself to click the button and commit to making it happen.

Sound familiar?

Or, how about, armed with these great ideas, you look at your overcommitted calendar and think to yourself…”ok, maybe in 15 months when I actually have a free Saturday”.

If this is you, then we need to have a chat about setting priorities, creating boundaries, and girlfriend...giving yourself permission to have some freakin’ fun!!

In today’s post, I’m going to unpack three of the common reasons I hear for not prioritizing having a little fun in your life!

Unpacking “I don’t have time”

Trying to find time to do something “fun” doesn’t seem to rise to the top of most people’s never-ending to-do list.

Or, even if we do make the time, something inevitably comes up beforehand that means canceling our fun plans.

Look, I get it, we’re all busy and have too many things on our plates.  But, let me ask you this...when looking at your overcrowded schedule, to what things do you stay committed?  What doesn’t get pushed off your calendar?

And, I’m not talking about work or family obligations. I’m talking about the things you do for yourself.  Maybe it’s a manicure, or a haircut, or time at the gym.

I’m not suggesting you skip those (although, maybe that’s an option from time to time), but my point is that you do make plans that you stick with, so scheduling in some fun time should be regarded in the same manner.

It might mean saying ‘no’ to something coming up last minute, or hiring a babysitter to free up a night or weekend afternoon.  It might mean skipping out on cleaning the house or running a bunch of non-necessary errands to create space to let your hair down and have some fun.

Your health and your sanity need you to block off time for fun.

Not having enough time just means reassessing your priorities and making the time.

Unpacking “It’s selfish to take time for myself”

This is a big one that impacts a LOT of women!  

Sadly, most women harbor this {irrational!} fear of being selfish for doing anything for themselves!

Listen up - it’s NOT selfish to take time for yourself.  It’s NOT selfish to spend time doing things you enjoy. It’s NOT selfish to say ‘no’ to others.

Believe it or not, you’re a human being that has basic human needs and having some fun to release some stress and enjoy your life, IS NOT SELFISH!

This is a hard one for many women because society tells us we have to give all of ourselves and our time to others in order to be a good wife, a good mother, a good friend, a good human.

But, you can’t give from a dry well.

Taking time to have some fun, be adventurous, laugh until your sides hurt, and lean into what makes you burst with excitement is what fills you up in order to be that good wife, mom, friend, human.

I don’t have any cool tricks to make you instantly drop this belief (oh if I only I did!).  So, my best advice is to start ignoring that tap on your shoulder that tells you you’re selfish, do what you’re craving when you need it, and exercise the muscle of taking care of yourself.  

With time, you’ll prove yourself wrong on that selfish belief, and it’ll get easier to blissfully run off to do your own thing from time to time.

Unpacking “What will people think of me?”

I know we all want to be liked and admired.  We don’t want people to judge us or think we’re crazy for our choices.

But, here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter what other people think of you.  Whether they think good things or bad things about you is irrelevant to your life!

If you thoroughly enjoy riding horses and your best friend is deathly afraid of them and thinks you’re irresponsible for horseback riding, what good does it do you to abstain from what pleases you because of her own fears or limiting thoughts?

How does that benefit you?  It doesn’t!!

People will think what they think regardless of what you do.  In fact, most people are so caught up in thinking about themselves and worried about what you’re thinking of them, that they aren’t even noticing what you’re doing.

Owning your desires, and doing your own thing is what makes you awesome.  It’s also what gives you freedom and leads to a life of limited regrets.

It’s your life, so make it your choice!

How to Get Started

Changing the way you approach your life to make more time for you isn’t easy. I totally respect that!

But, you have to start somewhere, and I typically advise women in this boat to start small.

Taking time for yourself to have a little fun may begin with a 5-minute activity that makes you laugh and lights up your day.  

From there, extend it to 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, until you are finally carving out an entire afternoon for yourself, or an hour every evening (or morning!).

Also, find gaps in your schedule where no one is asking anything from you. That might be at 5:00 in the morning before everyone else gets up, but if you can either use that time to do something fun OR catch up on a few other to-dos, so you’re free to have fun later in the day...do it!

Final Thoughts

We owe it to ourselves to feel the wind in our hair and be the adventurous person we’re craving to be.  You don’t owe your choices to anyone, and it’s not selfish to indulge in what you desire.

Give yourself permission to define your adventures, and then commit to chasing them.  I promise you will only become a stronger, healthier, happier version of the amazing you!