Posts in Personal Growth
How to Stop Feeling Guilty All The Time

Guilt...that oh-so-common emotion that is a daily burden for the majority of women.

Does any of this sound familiar?

“I hate that I have to finish up this project for work on the weekend!  I’m not spending enough time with my family!”

“I shouldn’t have spent that much money on myself.”

“I feel bad that I slept in this morning instead of getting up and cleaning the house.”

“I should’ve checked in again on Aunt Martha (even though I’ve already called her three times already!).”

“I shouldn’t have had dessert last night.  Now I’ll have to skip lunch today, or work out longer at the gym if I can actually make it to the gym tonight!”

“I never do enough for my family.”

Feeling guilty is at an all-time high for midlife women (women over 40).  Unfortunately, all this guilt is preventing us from taking much-needed time for ourselves to recharge, address our needs, explore our curiosities, and alter our course as we see fit.

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Don't get stuck in the Midlife Muck

As we approach our 40s, we enter into, what I call, a midlife transition.

Waking up and realizing that we’re not old, but we’re no longer young is what kicks off the first phase:  the Midlife Crisis (yes, women have those too!).

Eventually, we make it to the Midlife Awakening where we begin living a life of intention, purpose, and fulfillment.

But, to get from the Midlife Crisis to the Midlife Awakening, we have to navigate a middle stage:  the Midlife Muck.

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The Masks we Wear in Our Midlife Muck

As you move through your day, do you ever experience situations where you feel you have to pretend to be someone you’re not?

Maybe it’s with a neighbor, and you’re trying to appear pulled together, and on top of things despite the fact your coat is covering a fresh (and damp!) coffee stain on your shirt, your sock has a hole in it, and you’ve just discovered you forgot to pay the electric bill last month.

Or, maybe it’s with your mother-in-law as you pretend everything is hunky-dory with your marriage and her son wasn’t a total jerk to you and the kids over the weekend.

Or, maybe it’s who you have to become when you go to work every single day.  

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How to Choose the Positive Mindset Over the Negative

Did you know it’s human nature to focus more on the negative than the positive aspects of life?  

In other words, instead of challenging the highlight reel of our lives that play in our minds, we simply accept the falls, setbacks, challenges, and disappointments as the reality of our lives.

Looking back, we completely ignore the wins, hell-yeahs, and situations where we blew our expectations out of the water.

Looking ahead, instead of questioning the story we tell ourselves of what will likely happen if we walk out on that limb, we simply believe it’ll crack under our weight, and we’ll tumble to the ground in a heap of regret and humiliation.

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Avoid the Shiny Objects! Why Internal Motivators are better measures of Success

We live in an Instagram inspired world where on a daily basis we lay witness to all the pretty things everyone else around us owns.

We also see the trips others jet off to on a regular frequency, and the new cars they acquire.

We see these folks as “having it all” and wonder why we can’t seem to achieve what they’ve accomplished.

What we don’t see is the staggering amount of debt they try to avoid each month or the tears they shed as they try to fall asleep after yet another gut-wrenching fight with their spouse.

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How to Deepen your Connections in your 40s

From my conversations with women over 40 (and even those in their 30s), having more meaningful and deeper connections rings in as one of the top cravings experienced.

Friendships that were close at one point have simmered to occasional coffee catch-ups that barely graze the surface of what’s happening in our lives.

Spouses or long-term partners have gone from hot and all-encompassing to an almost roommate status (and that’s for those that are lucky!).  And, for many, the partnerships have fizzled out entirely.

Connection is a basic human need.  We crave it, yet we don’t create an environment for it flourish and thrive.

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Why a Midlife Crisis Hits High-Achieving Women Harder

I don’t know if you’re aware, but a midlife crisis isn’t just a man thing.

Women have the “pleasure” of this rite of passage, but it’s not something that’s talked about, so most women have no clue that’s what’s happening when it hits them.

For women, the midlife crisis is a what kicks off, what I call, a midlife transition.  Personally, I don’t feel women are in “crisis” mode for the duration. But it’s what wakes them up to the fact that something needs to change.

As I’ve gone through my own midlife transition and talked with women from all walks of life in various stages of this transition, I’ve learned one thing:

When a midlife crisis hits, high-achieving, go-getter, ball-busting women, tend to get hit the hardest.

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How to Change Everything, without Changing a Thing!

It happens to the best of us:  one day we wake up and feel bored, restless, frustrated, and confused with our lives.

Suddenly (but not really ‘suddenly’), everything we’ve worked for feels ‘old hat’ and unfulfilling. We crave something more while fighting off feelings of guilt for not being grateful for what we have.

Like many women over 40, most of us struggle with a deep desire and unrelenting need for something else in our lives, but we can’t quite pinpoint what’s missing, or what will fill that craving.

Instead of trying to figure it out, we push it away, distract ourselves by staying super busy, and let it fester under the surface until one day, all we have left are regrets for a lifetime of wasted opportunities.

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7 Reasons Why You Need a Passion Project in Your 40s

Passion projects…

Sounds a little intriguing, right?  Most of us have heard the term and may even have an idea of what it is, but for many women, the idea of dedicating some of their precious time to something on the side isn’t high on the to-do list.

But, let me ask you this...have you ever been so engrossed in something that you lost all sense of time?  You're so completely absorbed by the task at hand that when you look up, you realize several hours have passed, yet you don’t feel tired.  

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Understanding Your Energetic Vibration

Energy is all around us.  

Energy flows through us, out of us, and around us every minute of every day.  Just because we can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

It’s what powers, via electricity, the necessities in our life.  It’s also what gives us the vigor to plow through our to-do list, sneak in a workout, and juggle the many things we face in a day.

But, our energy isn’t just fueling our ability to get things done, it’s also sending out a vibration which attracts, and repels, many other things in our lives.  Our energetic vibrations play a significant role in our enjoyment and success in life.

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