Posts tagged Connection
Why Your Inner Critic is DamaginG Your Relationships

As we slide into our 40s, we’ve been around the block a few times with relationships.  We’ve experienced successful relationships and had a few that crashed and burned. 

For the relationships we’ve been tending for years, the newness has long worn off, and it can feel challenging to keep it going.

We feel a little stuck, and sometimes we don’t know if we should try to rekindle the flame, or throw in the towel and start over.

Either option comes with its own set of fears and questions.  We don’t want to make the wrong choice, and either walk away from a good thing or stay in a dead-end relationship.

Whether we’re navigating a relationship that’s become mundane, exploring the idea of ending things, or dipping our toes into the water of dating again (after ending the relationship, of course!), there’s one powerful thing that may be preventing you from taking the steps you need, or want to make:  our Inner Critics.

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Why Romantic Relationships Matter in Midlife (and how to improve or find yours!)

Marriages and long-term relationships in midlife can feel hard - whether you’re rekindling a fading flame, deciding to walk away and start over, or getting back on the horse and entering the dating game; it’s challenging at this phase of life.

There are a few key things that make this so complicated:

  1. Dealing with your own identity crisis via the midlife transition

  2. Feeling lower confidence in what you’re bringing to the table

  3. Pressed for time because you’re so busy and wearing so many hats

But, in spite of these challenges, pursuing a deep, meaningful, and satisfying romantic relationship is well worth the effort.

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How to Make Friends in your 40s

Humans crave connection.  

Some people crave lots of connection and others want lots of solitude (but, they still need interaction with others).

When you’re young, you have access to others your age via school and make tons of friends.

As adults, it gets harder.

Yes, you’re surrounded by adults in every phase of your life - work, activities, the gym, etc.  but life gets in the way.  Everyone is busy, and friendships drop lower on the list of priorities.

In many cases, friendships weaken and drift away.  Or, maybe you’ve moved to a new city where you don’t know anyone.

I’ve talked to so many women in their 30s and 40s that crave female friendships.  

But, how do you make new friends when you’re busy and don’t have much free time?

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5 Ways to Reconnect With Yourself

When we think of deepening our “connections” in our lives, we typically think of those around us - partner, family, friends, etc.

But the most important relationship to work on and strengthen is the one with ourselves.  Our personal relationship is the foundation of all of the other relationships in our lives.

To look at it from a different perspective, the one common link among all of the relationships we have is ourselves.  That means, if we don’t establish a healthy self-relationship, creating healthy and meaningful relationships with others is more next to impossible.

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Over 40? Why Your Relationships Matter More than Ever

As human beings, we’re wired to connect with other humans.  This is something that has evolved over the thousands of years that we’ve been roaming this Earth.

Historically, and evolutionarily, speaking, we needed strong connections to survive.  Whether it was to ward off invaders or to rely on family and neighbors to raise children (it takes a village!), we, as humans, have a reliance on others.

Today, we may not have a strong need to fight off invaders, and we pay doctors and day care centers to help raise the kiddos, but we still need solid human connections to thrive

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How to Deepen your Connections in your 40s

From my conversations with women over 40 (and even those in their 30s), having more meaningful and deeper connections rings in as one of the top cravings experienced.

Friendships that were close at one point have simmered to occasional coffee catch-ups that barely graze the surface of what’s happening in our lives.

Spouses or long-term partners have gone from hot and all-encompassing to an almost roommate status (and that’s for those that are lucky!).  And, for many, the partnerships have fizzled out entirely.

Connection is a basic human need.  We crave it, yet we don’t create an environment for it flourish and thrive.

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Dating in Your 40s: 5 Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Dating in your 40s...a necessary evil or a new release on life?

If you’re ‘hell yeah!’ for the latter, then this post probably isn’t for you ;).

But, if dating in your 40s is feeling a little bit like a cruel trick in life, then grab some coffee (or your drink of choice!) and allow me to boost your confidence, so you start dating from an entirely new perspective!

One of the hardest things about dating for anyone is to go into with the right frame of mind.

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How to Love Being Single

Women aren’t supposed to love being single.  It flies in the face of convention.  Society (and nosy relatives) tell women they should be coupled up or on the constant quest to find the next man in their life.

But, to love being single means you love where you are in your life, regardless of who’s in it and that, my dear, is when you are living a life of your own design where you are fully in control.

Just because you love being single doesn’t mean you don’t want to be in a relationship (it might, but the don’t necessarily go hand in hand).

The beauty of loving being single is that it frees you up to be in control of your life, your choices, your place in life, and your happiness.

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Dating in Your 40s: Why You Should Never Settle

Dating in Your 40s is a different experience than dating in your 20s.  You’ve been around the block a few times and, likely have a marriage or long term relationship (or two!), in the rear view mirror.

You know relationships are hard, and you’re acutely aware of how challenging it is to find a quality partner.

You’re also hitting the phase of life where you’re questioning life and craving more purpose and meaning in how you spend your time.  While you’re not “old,” you’re starting to become aware of the passing of time, and that likely produces thoughts of who you will be spending all that time with as you start to enter a new phase of life.

As you’re looking ahead to your 50s, 60s, etc. you don’t want to spend those years alone.

So with that perfect storm brewing, if you’re like a lot of people, when you find someone, you settle.

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Finding Yourself After Divorce

Almost ten years ago, I divorced my husband of three years.  I don’t regret it and consider both the marriage and divorce to be one of the more defining times of my life.

It can easy to envelope yourself in self-pity and bitter resentment, but I can promise you that won’t get you anywhere.

After going through a divorce, you have to rediscover who you are and what you want from your life.

Freedom after divorce is finding yourself and that place where you let go of the past and embrace the future...a future designed solely by you.

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