Posts tagged Inner Bully
Why Your Inner Critics Block Your Adventures

When was the last time you threw caution to the wind, stood up to your fears, and did something a little risky?

If it’s been a while and you’re dying for a little adventure, then it’s time to start examining the reasons why you’ve been staying on the sidelines of your life!

While there could be a number of reasons, I’m betting the primary factor underlying all of those reasons is one you may not have considered:  your Inner Critic.

Your Inner Critic(s) is that little voice inside you that tells you not to take that chance and to play it safe.  It’s the reason you’re a tad averse to taking any risk in your life!

You may not be aware this is even happening within yourself, but everyone walking on this planet has to battle these Inner Critics daily.

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Why Your Inner Critic is DamaginG Your Relationships

As we slide into our 40s, we’ve been around the block a few times with relationships.  We’ve experienced successful relationships and had a few that crashed and burned. 

For the relationships we’ve been tending for years, the newness has long worn off, and it can feel challenging to keep it going.

We feel a little stuck, and sometimes we don’t know if we should try to rekindle the flame, or throw in the towel and start over.

Either option comes with its own set of fears and questions.  We don’t want to make the wrong choice, and either walk away from a good thing or stay in a dead-end relationship.

Whether we’re navigating a relationship that’s become mundane, exploring the idea of ending things, or dipping our toes into the water of dating again (after ending the relationship, of course!), there’s one powerful thing that may be preventing you from taking the steps you need, or want to make:  our Inner Critics.

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How Your Inner Critic Blocks You from Your Purpose

Figuring out our purpose is one of the chief desires of women in their 40s navigating their Midlife Muck.

We’ve either never found our purpose, or what was once our purpose is no longer serving us.  But, as we hit our 40s, we feel a deepening need to discover more meaning in our lives.

It can be challenging to attempt to figure this out at this stage in life.  In many ways, it feels like starting over (which isn’t necessarily the case!).

But, in the quest to answer those deep questions that keep us up at night (“Why am I here?”, “What am I leaving behind?”, “What can I do to feel I’m contributing more to life?”) we typically seek something new.

For many, that quest leads to fear, overwhelm, and confusion.  We feel stuck, and we don’t know how to get past this to find our purpose and start living it.

What we don’t realize is that in many cases, there’s something within us sabotaging our efforts to find the answers to those questions:  our Inner Critic.

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5 Tips to Tame Your Inner Critic and get out of your Midlife Muck!

One of the things I routinely hear from women in either the Midlife Crisis or Midlife Muck phase of their Midlife Transition is that they feel stuck.

Things aren’t working in their life, and they crave something different, but they either don’t know what they want, or they feel they have no way to make those changes happen.

Even if they have the vision to see new options to improve their lives, there’s usually a long list of reasons why they can’t follow those paths, so they stay stuck and frustrated.

There may be many reasons for being in that predicament, but I’ll wager one of the chief reasons is your Inner Critic is ruling the roost and doing whatever it can to ensure you stay comfortably stuck right where you are.

You likely don’t even realize to what extent these little balls of not-so-helpful energy are operating!

Getting unstuck means coming face to face with these voices, and their underlying beliefs, to establish a new relationship with your fears, doubts, and Inner Critics.

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Why You Don't Want to Silence Your Inner Bully

You know the voice...that mean inner critic that is always whispering terrible things to sabotage your best of intentions.

How often has it stopped you in your tracks, made you doubt yourself, then play it much safer than you originally planned?

I call it the Inner Bully because it’s verbally beating you up, taunting you, and controlling your actions.

That super critical voice is a form of self-abuse, but believe it or not, it has a purpose.

Despite the term ‘bully’ or ‘critic,' the voice comes from a loving place within you.  It’s trying to protect you from getting hurt.  

Its intentions are pure, but it’s methods are not.

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Listen Up! Your Inner Bully is Trying to Tell You Something

Your Inner Bully talks to you every single day.

No matter how advanced you are on your personal growth journey, your Inner Bully is still there and still chattering away.

In fact, it’s likely that you have several Inner Bullies and sometimes they get together and throw a loud party to make sure you hear them.

In case you’ve forgotten, your Inner Bully comes out the strongest and loudest when you’re about to do something BIG.

I like to use the presence of my Inner Bully as a motivator - when it shows up, it’s time to face my fear and make something epic happen.

But, before I dismiss my Inner Bully, I like to try to figure out what exactly it’s trying to tell me so I can work a little more on myself.

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Use Your Inner Bully to Your Advantage

Nobody likes bullies.  They’re mean, they taunt, and they torture.  

Yet, every single one of us is a bully.

Yes, even YOU.

“Who are you to think you can make that promotion?”

“What makes you so special?  If you get up there and make that speech, everyone will laugh at you.”

“You are NEVER going to get all of this done!  You just don’t have it in you.”

Recognize any of that?  

You might not be bullying other people, but the vast majority of us are bullies to ourselves.

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