Posts tagged Midlife Muck
You have a Rebel Woman Inside You (and she can help you get unstuck!)

I’m a Type-A, planner, goal-setting, get-sh*t-done kinda gal.

When I have a task at hand, I project plan it down to the nitty-gritty details!

I get a lot done, but I also burn myself out. I was talking about this with my coach recently, and she asked me why I am such a slave to my to-do list?

I instantly replied, “because if I don’t, I won’t get anything done!”

Now, that’s not true, and as soon as I spoke those words, I knew how untrue that statement was.

Nice try, inner critics!

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7 Common Fears Keeping You Stuck on the Sidelines of Your Life

Fear is incredibly powerful as a motivator, and it’s something that everyone experiences.  But, the degree to which each person feels fear, and more importantly, allows their fears to dictate their actions, varies per individual.

For a large portion of society, fear serves to keep them sidelined, as they stand frozen in the face of their fears.

While other people appear to be fearless, never exhibiting signs of fear and seemingly made of steel.

But, no one is without fear.  Those ‘fearless’ individuals experience fear just like everyone else, but what sets them apart is that they don’t allow those fears to keep them from moving forward.

They feel the fear, and they blaze through them.

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How FEAR Keeps You Stuck in the Midlife Muck

Fear is one of the most powerful motivators that plays a significant factor in how we show up in our lives every single day.

It’s not only powerful within ourselves, but it’s one of the most widely used tactics in our society to manipulate our beliefs and behaviors (think marketers & politicians!).

Our underlying fears have the power to influence our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions.  It impacts what we say (or don’t say), the goals we set for ourselves, our ability to stretch ourselves and our willingness to step beyond the outer edges of our comfort zone.

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Why Your Inner Critics Block Your Adventures

When was the last time you threw caution to the wind, stood up to your fears, and did something a little risky?

If it’s been a while and you’re dying for a little adventure, then it’s time to start examining the reasons why you’ve been staying on the sidelines of your life!

While there could be a number of reasons, I’m betting the primary factor underlying all of those reasons is one you may not have considered:  your Inner Critic.

Your Inner Critic(s) is that little voice inside you that tells you not to take that chance and to play it safe.  It’s the reason you’re a tad averse to taking any risk in your life!

You may not be aware this is even happening within yourself, but everyone walking on this planet has to battle these Inner Critics daily.

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Why Your Inner Critic is DamaginG Your Relationships

As we slide into our 40s, we’ve been around the block a few times with relationships.  We’ve experienced successful relationships and had a few that crashed and burned. 

For the relationships we’ve been tending for years, the newness has long worn off, and it can feel challenging to keep it going.

We feel a little stuck, and sometimes we don’t know if we should try to rekindle the flame, or throw in the towel and start over.

Either option comes with its own set of fears and questions.  We don’t want to make the wrong choice, and either walk away from a good thing or stay in a dead-end relationship.

Whether we’re navigating a relationship that’s become mundane, exploring the idea of ending things, or dipping our toes into the water of dating again (after ending the relationship, of course!), there’s one powerful thing that may be preventing you from taking the steps you need, or want to make:  our Inner Critics.

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How Your Inner Critic Blocks You from Your Purpose

Figuring out our purpose is one of the chief desires of women in their 40s navigating their Midlife Muck.

We’ve either never found our purpose, or what was once our purpose is no longer serving us.  But, as we hit our 40s, we feel a deepening need to discover more meaning in our lives.

It can be challenging to attempt to figure this out at this stage in life.  In many ways, it feels like starting over (which isn’t necessarily the case!).

But, in the quest to answer those deep questions that keep us up at night (“Why am I here?”, “What am I leaving behind?”, “What can I do to feel I’m contributing more to life?”) we typically seek something new.

For many, that quest leads to fear, overwhelm, and confusion.  We feel stuck, and we don’t know how to get past this to find our purpose and start living it.

What we don’t realize is that in many cases, there’s something within us sabotaging our efforts to find the answers to those questions:  our Inner Critic.

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5 Tips to Tame Your Inner Critic and get out of your Midlife Muck!

One of the things I routinely hear from women in either the Midlife Crisis or Midlife Muck phase of their Midlife Transition is that they feel stuck.

Things aren’t working in their life, and they crave something different, but they either don’t know what they want, or they feel they have no way to make those changes happen.

Even if they have the vision to see new options to improve their lives, there’s usually a long list of reasons why they can’t follow those paths, so they stay stuck and frustrated.

There may be many reasons for being in that predicament, but I’ll wager one of the chief reasons is your Inner Critic is ruling the roost and doing whatever it can to ensure you stay comfortably stuck right where you are.

You likely don’t even realize to what extent these little balls of not-so-helpful energy are operating!

Getting unstuck means coming face to face with these voices, and their underlying beliefs, to establish a new relationship with your fears, doubts, and Inner Critics.

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Don't get stuck in the Midlife Muck

As we approach our 40s, we enter into, what I call, a midlife transition.

Waking up and realizing that we’re not old, but we’re no longer young is what kicks off the first phase:  the Midlife Crisis (yes, women have those too!).

Eventually, we make it to the Midlife Awakening where we begin living a life of intention, purpose, and fulfillment.

But, to get from the Midlife Crisis to the Midlife Awakening, we have to navigate a middle stage:  the Midlife Muck.

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The Masks we Wear in Our Midlife Muck

As you move through your day, do you ever experience situations where you feel you have to pretend to be someone you’re not?

Maybe it’s with a neighbor, and you’re trying to appear pulled together, and on top of things despite the fact your coat is covering a fresh (and damp!) coffee stain on your shirt, your sock has a hole in it, and you’ve just discovered you forgot to pay the electric bill last month.

Or, maybe it’s with your mother-in-law as you pretend everything is hunky-dory with your marriage and her son wasn’t a total jerk to you and the kids over the weekend.

Or, maybe it’s who you have to become when you go to work every single day.  

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Don’t Fear Your 40s: Why this is the decade you’ll love

Most people under the age of 30 see 40+ as ‘old.’  

Despite the fact that everyone, if they’re lucky, gets old (because let’s be honest, it certainly beats the alternative!), it’s something modern society tells us we should fear because getting older is akin to becoming irrelevant (which is so NOT true!).  

The years leading up to the big 4-0 can be quite the mental rollercoaster.  It’s a mix of trying to accept it but resisting it and fighting it with every turn.

But, let me speak from personal experience here:  40 isn’t what it used to be!

No longer does being in your 40s automatically make you dumpy, frumpy, and behind-the-times.

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