Over 40? Why Your Relationships Matter More than Ever

As human beings, we’re wired to connect with other humans.  This is something that has evolved over the thousands of years that we’ve been roaming this Earth.

Historically, and evolutionarily, speaking, we needed strong connections to survive.  Whether it was to ward off invaders or to rely on family and neighbors to raise children (it takes a village!), we, as humans, have a reliance on others.

Today, we may not have a strong need to fight off invaders, and we pay doctors and day care centers to help raise the kiddos, but we still need solid human connections to thrive

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Why You Don't Have to Get Paid to Live Your Purpose

In today’s world, we’re blessed by the abundance of opportunities to “start over” by launching our own businesses, changing careers, etc.

But, not everyone wants, or can, make these drastic career changes!

As we approach 40 and cross into, what I call the midlife transition period, we start craving more from our lives and the desire to find our purpose takes root.

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Living a Fulfilling Life Leads to Your Purpose

As I’ve talked with women via my Coffee Chat project, I’ve discovered something...the more fulfilled a woman is in her life (family, friends, activities, job, etc.), the less of a quest she’s on to find her ‘purpose’ and the happier she is.

What an incredible discovery!

Some women are dying to figure out their ‘purpose, ’ and I think that’s a worthy exploration if that's you (I’ve been on it myself!).

But, it can be a lot easier to find things that fulfill you - even if your 'purpose' isn't tied to it - because, that alone, may be all you need to love your life fully.

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3 Practical Steps to Finding and Living Your Purpose

The idea of finding one’s purpose in life can feel daunting.  

  • How do I narrow down what I’m supposed to do with my life?

  • What if I get it wrong?

  • What if I don’t like this purpose 5, 10, 15 years from now?

  • What if my purpose means I have to change my life completely?

I get it: it feels scary to face the reality that the life you’ve created for yourself doesn’t quite fit anymore and things need to change.  

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Why we Crave “More” from Life after 40

One of the more baffling things we experience as we approach, or pass, our 40th birthdays is a growing desire for “more.”

A nagging desire takes hold and pulsates as we move about our all too familiar routine:  “There must be more to life than this…”

We’ve spent the better part of our adult lives creating a life that we thought we wanted, or that we felt we should; but now, that we’re living that life (or, aspects of that life), it doesn’t quite feel like enough.

What’s up with that?!

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How to Stop Feeling Guilty All The Time

Guilt...that oh-so-common emotion that is a daily burden for the majority of women.

Does any of this sound familiar?

“I hate that I have to finish up this project for work on the weekend!  I’m not spending enough time with my family!”

“I shouldn’t have spent that much money on myself.”

“I feel bad that I slept in this morning instead of getting up and cleaning the house.”

“I should’ve checked in again on Aunt Martha (even though I’ve already called her three times already!).”

“I shouldn’t have had dessert last night.  Now I’ll have to skip lunch today, or work out longer at the gym if I can actually make it to the gym tonight!”

“I never do enough for my family.”

Feeling guilty is at an all-time high for midlife women (women over 40).  Unfortunately, all this guilt is preventing us from taking much-needed time for ourselves to recharge, address our needs, explore our curiosities, and alter our course as we see fit.

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Don't get stuck in the Midlife Muck

As we approach our 40s, we enter into, what I call, a midlife transition.

Waking up and realizing that we’re not old, but we’re no longer young is what kicks off the first phase:  the Midlife Crisis (yes, women have those too!).

Eventually, we make it to the Midlife Awakening where we begin living a life of intention, purpose, and fulfillment.

But, to get from the Midlife Crisis to the Midlife Awakening, we have to navigate a middle stage:  the Midlife Muck.

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The Masks we Wear in Our Midlife Muck

As you move through your day, do you ever experience situations where you feel you have to pretend to be someone you’re not?

Maybe it’s with a neighbor, and you’re trying to appear pulled together, and on top of things despite the fact your coat is covering a fresh (and damp!) coffee stain on your shirt, your sock has a hole in it, and you’ve just discovered you forgot to pay the electric bill last month.

Or, maybe it’s with your mother-in-law as you pretend everything is hunky-dory with your marriage and her son wasn’t a total jerk to you and the kids over the weekend.

Or, maybe it’s who you have to become when you go to work every single day.  

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How to Choose the Positive Mindset Over the Negative

Did you know it’s human nature to focus more on the negative than the positive aspects of life?  

In other words, instead of challenging the highlight reel of our lives that play in our minds, we simply accept the falls, setbacks, challenges, and disappointments as the reality of our lives.

Looking back, we completely ignore the wins, hell-yeahs, and situations where we blew our expectations out of the water.

Looking ahead, instead of questioning the story we tell ourselves of what will likely happen if we walk out on that limb, we simply believe it’ll crack under our weight, and we’ll tumble to the ground in a heap of regret and humiliation.

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Avoid the Shiny Objects! Why Internal Motivators are better measures of Success

We live in an Instagram inspired world where on a daily basis we lay witness to all the pretty things everyone else around us owns.

We also see the trips others jet off to on a regular frequency, and the new cars they acquire.

We see these folks as “having it all” and wonder why we can’t seem to achieve what they’ve accomplished.

What we don’t see is the staggering amount of debt they try to avoid each month or the tears they shed as they try to fall asleep after yet another gut-wrenching fight with their spouse.

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